Married and Remarried

Our son recently attended a confirmation retreat in which one of the leaders put forth an interesting idea. He said that young people don’t always experience the full power of the Holy Spirit during the ceremony. While they are confirmed at that moment while they are among their church family, they may experience an inner confirmation at other points in their lives, as they say yes to the Spirit throughout the years.

As with infant baptism, where the baby is unaware of anything but scratchy clothes and cold water being applied by unfamiliar hands, some sacraments can be fully appreciated only after the fact. With others, the effect is immediate.

I have participated very happily in the sacrament of marriage, and I must say I felt married the moment that Fr. Rich Riedel, C.PP.S., pronounced the words. However, there are layers to the sacrament that a couple can only imagine on their wedding day. The losses we have suffered and the joys we have attained have only strengthened our bond. It is as if we have been remarried and remarried and remarried.

Those remarriages don’t always come in ways that we would have anticipated back in May 1987. A few years ago, my computer crashed. I write and edit out of my home office, so the computer is like a business partner, vault and slave all rolled into one.

While it was mostly my problem, my husband took on the challenge like a knight rescuing a princess from an enchanted castle. He followed every twisted path, obeyed every prompt, and spent hour after terrible hour on the phone with technical support people that he could barely hear or understand. Often he’d be on hold for 20 minutes, then work on the problem with a real human for another 20 minutes, only to have his call be cut off and have to start all over again with someone new. He skipped meals and barely looked up for the three days it took us to get back online. When we saw those blessed words, “Windows is starting up,” I was shot through with a pure joy that, unless you have been reborn after a crash, you could never understand.

Is that an experience that Hallmark can turn into a card? No. But it was as much of a demonstration of pure love and commitment as all the red roses in the world. Our marriage was renewed on that day, and many others before and since.

I have learned that a sacrament is a living thing, not just a moment in time. It is a glimpse into the forever nature of God’s love, a feeling of being called and of answering. It seals a pact between us and God, and underlines the fact that we are beloved, we are treasured, and we are welcomed into the kingdom.